THE GRUDGE STORE
Are you holding a Grudge, but don’t know what to do with it?
We can help.
Grudgestore.con is the online repository for those who are carrying Grudges but don’t have the time nor space to hold their Grudges themselves. Our satisfied customers select the level at which each Grudge is to be maintained, from an intense boil to a low simmer, with an option to slowly cool to room temperature. We have a cryogenic unit for those who wish long-term cold storage, and microwave reheat capability in the event a dormant Grudge requires rekindling.
Our flat-rate annual membership comes with the privilege of reviewing each Grudge once every 90 days to ensure that the Grudge is intact, valid, and worthwhile retaining. Additional visits and revisions are available at small additional fees, and we have quantity discounts for those with multiple Grudges.
Grudgestore.con maintains the highest level of security to insure that your Grudge is protected against unauthorized access; and in order to avoid conflicts of interest we will not allow one Grudge Store client to hold a Grudge against another client in our safe facility. Customers are required to select a complex alpha/numeric/symbol password available only to the customer but—mindful that many Grudges can survive over generations—we will work with approved family members who might inherit the Grudge upon the demise of the original Grudge Holder. And, of course, a Grudge may be returned to its owner at any time or we will, at an owner’s written request, expose the Grudge to light and air in which event it will simply evaporate.
Our team of social scientists has recently published a paper in the Journal of Idiopathic Syndromes on the subject of Grudge Holding and Its Impact on Health, and our CEO has published a book entitled The Grudge: Your Place or Mine? Chapters include “How to Identify a Grudge Worth Holding,” “Is It Best To Hold One’s Own Grudge,” “What To Do When The Grudge Cools” and “Sex And The Single Grudge.”
Richard David Bach began writing fiction when he retired after thirty years of practicing environmental law in the Pacific Northwest. He is the author of the self-published Common Denominator romantic-thriller series. The four installments are available as e-books on his website, Amazon, and other vendors.
This is his second feature on The Fictional Café. You can read his first here.